Lessons for
Living
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What bothers you most about other people?
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Here is an
interesting way to learn more about yourself. Think of all the troublesome people in your life - the ones who make you miserable - and create a one-word description for each of them. It might include words like arrogant for the obnoxious show-off at the gym and confrontational for your always-angry co-worker. You may think of demanding for your perfectionistic tennis partner and humorless for that frowning clerk at the grocery store. Once you have your list of "other" people's negative characteristics, look it over carefully. Now, give consideration to the possibility that "all" of these traits are actually your qualities, which are denied and rejected. It is a psychological truth that we often see in others what we don't like about ourselves. The troublesome people in our lives may serve as mirrors for what we won't accept. Just think about the ways in which you may be arrogant, and are you sometimes too confrontational? Can you also be demanding and show a lack of humor? You can't change what you don't recognize as a problem, however, if troublesome people reflect your negative qualities, then you can use this information to help improve yourself. If we can all become more attentive to what we don't like in others, it may make us more conscious of our own faults and enable us to take responsibility for changing them. The next time you're busy criticizing someone's bad behavior, consider the possibility that you're engaging in self-criticism. Take your criticism to heart and change in yourself what you don't like in others. |
