Lessons for Living
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Does worry rule your life?
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Social psychologists
have determined that the average person thinks about 24,000 thoughts per day and that for
some people the number could be as high as 75,000. These numbers, however, may not be as
impressive as they initially sound because it is also reported that 90 to 95 percent of
these thoughts are repeated. This high percentage might not be surprising because you probably already know that much of the time your mind runs in circles recycling the same issues. Recycled thoughts can be in the enjoyable form of anticipation, as when you think about the pleasures of a upcoming vacation. However, if you are a worrier, many of your recurring thoughts will be negative. Worry does not focus on hopeful expectation. It is more like looking for trouble. As someone has said, "Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due." Most often worry is fruitless fretting over the possible. It is when something happens that you don't like, so you venture out into an imagined future of bad possibilities. You start thinking of all the things that could go wrong and do so until you convince yourself that they will. If your boss criticizes your job performance, you imagine being fired, losing your home, and living on the street. Or, when a relationship ends, you dwell upon thoughts of a lonely old age without a loving companion. While awaiting the results of medical testing, you convince yourself that you are dying and plan your funeral before getting the good news of lab results proving nothing is wrong. If you dwell upon pessimistic possibilities day and night, you will create misery that you don't need. Life is tough enough without worry adding to your troubles. A solution for "too much worry" may be to worry on a schedule. Set aside 15-30 minutes a day as "worry time" and use it to review and think about "all" the problems in your life. Worry as hard as you can at the appointed time, otherwise, when a worry pops up during the day, just remind yourself to save it for your worry time. By scheduling your worries, you concentrate the time spent on them. Also, you may actually reduce their number, if you add an element of reality testing by challenging each worry with the question, "How likely is this to happen?" Such reality testing sheds the light of reason on worry and puts you in control, at least, of your reactions to worry. And, when you feel in control, you worry less. What is the focus of your 24,000 daily thoughts? Is it hopeful or despairing? If you shift your thinking more towards the positive, while putting your worries on a schedule, you may change your life for the better. Remember, "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday." Don't spend your today in fruitless fretting. Give us your feedback on this article or |
